When the waves close over me, I dive down to fish for pearls.” –Masha Kaleko
Recently, I learned about the untimely death by suicide of a high-school friend. It hit me hard and awakened a deep sadness as it resonated with and reawakened the loss of my mother by suicide when I was 11. I’ve done a lot of healing around this topic with expert help. Still, I had to acknowledge a new layer of grief had emerged.
My feelings were amplified by two other recent events: the shocking suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade. What reverberated deeply for me was the fact that they each left young daughters. In fact, Anthony Bourdain’s daughter is the exact same age I was when I lost my mother. My heart grieves for these children who now begin their journey of processing grief.
Additionally, readers may be feeling grief over current events. Those feelings deserve attention and healing as much as traumatic events happening directly to us do.
We’re taught from an early age to avoid pain. It makes sense, of course, but it can also be counterintuitive. As life inevitably serves up loss, the hardest path can be facing the pain, but ultimately, it is the path to healing. There are many routes one can take, and no right or wrong way to go about it. But a circuitous route is often of little service in cleaning out a wound. It will resist healing if not attended to. Repeatedly ignoring pain can result in a kind of deadening of the spirit, which is a call for attention, not avoidance.
It’s sobering to recognize that healing is ongoing. Even for me, with a toolkit the size of a Mack truck, it’s a lifelong process. Loss has helped me develop the sensitivity and intuition I use daily. Having thrived in spite of difficult times has given me strength.
Talk therapy with a qualified professional can be extremely beneficial. In fact, if the sensations or emotions are overwhelming, seeking out the care of a professional psychotherapist is advised. Many psychologists blend cognitive and talk therapy with somatic work.
There are also stand-alone somatic approaches that focus on shifting the autonomic nervous system back to balance. The body has many messages and clues to offer us. When grief is present, it can feel as if the body is impacted with stuck emotions. This can create lethargy and energetic depletion. Somatic work often allows energy to move and helps difficult feelings to release.
Here then are a few select somatic approaches you may find beneficial in addressing loss, grief, and PTSD. When looking for healing help, always seek a licensed, credentialed professional. Ask them how long they’ve been in practice. Don’t be shy about asking for referrals, or inviting recommendations from trusted friends.
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Trauma Sensitive Yoga®
Trauma Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY) is unique in that it was the first yoga intervention program approved by the US government as an evidence-based practice for treating complex trauma and chronic, treatment-resistant PTSD. It is an international organization with practitioners the world over.
https://www.traumasensitiveyoga.com/
iRest
iRest, developed by Dr. Richard Miller, is another program endorsed by the U.S. Army Surgeon General and Defense Centers of Excellence as a complementary and alternative medicine (CAM). Dr. Miller developed iRest, a practice that enlists deep levels of yoga sleep, to cultivate deep healing and well-being. iRest has been used extensively in the treatment of PTSD, particularly with veterans.
IAYT Directory of Yoga Therapists
Additionally, you can search for a Certified Yoga Therapist on the International Association for Yoga Therapists (IAYT) website. Search by keyword for the condition you wish to address.
https://www.iayt.org/search/custom.asp?id=4160
Qigong
Qigong, an ancient Chinese system of healing, includes gentle movement, visualization, and meditation. Qigong helps enhance and balance the nervous system and promote health and vitality. It moves energy through the body and can be helpful in removing blocks. One excellent place to begin if you are new to Qigong is master teacher Robert Peng.
Breathing
Breathing is the quickest way to change physiology. In their award-winning book, The Healing Power of the Breath, Drs. Brown and Gerbarg provide daily practice recommendations for conditions ranging from anxiety, depression, insomnia, and trauma-induced emotions. A CD with guided practices is included with the book.
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Power-Breath-Techniques-Concentration/dp/1590309022
Meditation
Meditation offers each of us the opportunity to cultivate mindfulness and to notice things before they become chronic. Awareness grants us the opportunity to respond to what we notice, if needed.
If you are new to meditation, there are two videos on my website to help get you started.
The first is a short animated film by Marty Boroson: “One-Moment Meditation: How to Meditate in a Moment.” https://resilienceforlife.com/resources/videos/3/
The second is longer lecture by renowned author, teacher, and founder of MBSR: “Mindfulness with Jon-Kabat Zinn.” https://resilienceforlife.com/resources/videos/3/
HeartMath
HeartMath is a modality that I practice personally and with clients. It enables practitioners to cultivate changes in physiology and heart rate variability and see those changes via technology, using an app on a small handheld device. The techniques work with and without technology, and offer intelligent energy management techniques to avoid depletion, particularly during challenging times. Clients using technology often find it empowering to see how quickly they can change their physiology. Learn more about HeartMath coaching: https://resilienceforlife.com/coaching/heartmath/
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Healing takes time and requires patience. Be gentle with yourself. The new normal is always different than what came before. Experiencing loss fully and deeply allows us to arrive at a new place of gratitude for life — and the reminder to do our best to savor each moment.