Late last year, 24 Hour Fitness bought my gym. Since then, I’ve noticed a big spike in attendance at all hours of the day.
Of course, the New Year has a lot to do with it. People make resolutions and are eager to make them stick.
Still, when I complimented a manager on the increase in business, I was surprised to see him shake his head.
“Wait until next month. It’ll be empty. People won’t keep this up.”
As a New Life Story coach, I couldn’t unstick these words from my head for a long while. It points to a fundamental question: Why do people start with the best of intentions and then, if they struggle or find they’re failing, throw in the towel and essentially go back to where they were when they began – or worse?
There are any number of things that contribute to self-sabotage. Some are more common than others. All of us are susceptible. Keeping an eye out for these 5 potential pitfalls goes a long way in keeping your momentum up and in sync with your good intentions:
- Lack of specificity when it comes to your goal(s)Charging enthusiastically in the direction of your dreams isn’t a bad thing. It’s just not sustainable. Success involves clarity and reassessment every step of the way. If you don’t know where you stand in relation to your goal and chart changes carefully, I can assure you, achieving won’t be easy. How will you know when you’ve reached it? Knowing the specific New Life Story you want to grow into BEFORE you begin is essential.
- Trying to do too much at once It’s the old throw-spaghetti-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks approach. Sure, some things may materialize, but this “strategy” goes hand-in-hand with the specificity problem. If you don’t have a defined goal in sight, it really doesn’t matter what sticks. You’ve not made a specific commitment. You’ve not created a support system to sustain it. That includes anticipating and eliminating obstacles to support your efforts at every step of the way. Only when you’ve defined your goal can you plan your path to success.
- Beating yourself up because you slip up We’ve all been there: You attend a party, a wedding or other social gathering, overindulge and then then feel like a failure because you blew your whole plan. Then you throw in the towel and think, “Why bother?” This kind of self-defeating thinking can be difficult to reverse, but rest assured, until you understand that everyone slips, you won’t stay the course. The important – and more productive – thing is to simply acknowledge your mistake, then get back on the horse and keep going.
- Impatience When they handed out patience, believe me: I was not the first person in line. But having helped hundreds of people move toward their goals – and making changes in my own life – one thing I’m certain of is that meaningful change takes time. Sure, it would be sweet to see each dream fulfilled with a simple snap of the fingers, but things that appear so easily can just as easily slip away. Changing routines, habits and your lifestyle is like breaking in a new pair of shoes. It takes weeks for them to become truly comfortable. Likewise with behavior patterns. Typically, it takes 40 to 60 days before you begin to see the forest for the trees and own that you have successfully seeded a new way of being – one that you can count on. Never forget: Meaningful change takes time. And that’s a GOOD thing.
- Ignoring what you HAVE accomplished en route to your goal All too frequently, we set a goal, have the best of intentions and even reach it in part – just not quite all the way. And then we denigrate ourselves or refuse to acknowledge the good stuff that we have accomplished. Rewards for making progress toward your goal are critical – a way of recognizing change already underway.Rewards should be appropriate, of course. If you are trying to lose weight, you probably don’t want to eat a whole chocolate cake as your reward for shedding X number of pounds. Fortunately, there are many, many positive ways to reinforce change!If you don’t reward yourself, odds are no one else will. In fact, rewards not only deepen self-care; you positively impact those around you by modeling healthy nurturing.
This is a great time of year to make a commitment to the change you would like to be, see or manifest. I encourage you to take a stand, know that it’s possible and begin the journey. Happy New Year!
Image: E’Lisa Campbell